07 August 2015


 Sitting at home in Amman now writing this post it all seems like one long dream. It doesn't feel like I've been away for four whole months. I have matured a lot as a person and a lot about me has changed but that is mostly it. Everything is still the same.
Seeing my family for the first time a couple of weeks ago was overwhelming. At first I didn't really process that they were there, I felt like I was going to wake up alone in Wiesbaden all over again. But I woke up the next day to my parent's voice and my sisters sleeping besides me and thousands miles away from home it felt like home.
Paris was a beautiful city, the details in it gets you addicted to it. Details you don't find anywhere else, details that are only seen or felt not explained. Thinking about it now I don't know what it is that makes Paris stand out, but you never get bored of that city, even if you walked the exact same street heading to the same destination every single day you'd still find beauty in it. You can never really get used to it, and you can never feel glad to leave it. You always find something inside that draws you back to it, and I'd visit it a million times if I could.
Disney Land. Visiting that place is the dream of so many people, and of course I was one of them. Happiest place on earth? Yes. Not because of the awesome rides or the great scenery, just like the city I don't know what it is that makes Disney land stand out, but you are filled with joy every step of the way. Maybe it feels like being hugged by childhood, like entering this world you used to fancy when you were 5, and it feels exactly like you imagined it would. A place of magic, happiness and laughter. Where nothing could go wrong. Where the architecture is a fairytale, the food is a fairytale, the atmosphere is a fairytale. Yes. I think that's what it feels like, living inside your 5 year old self's dream. 
On one of the days we went to a chapel where a violin music concert was held. That chapel was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, I sat there mid concert and I felt my head going over the clouds, for a second I forgot it was real life, the music was so pure, the place was so pure, everything was so painfully beautiful and that feeling I'd never forget.
On my way back from Paris, I looked out of the train window at the most beautiful scenery and then I turned my head to my father in front of me and the rest of the family on my side, on the table in front of me was a nicely designed beautifully cooked meal, I had people I love waiting for me back home and at that moment I felt like every single thing in my life makes sense, like everything is so perfect. I smiled to widely and my father looked at me and could see it in my eyes, 'What's going on?' he asked with a smile knowing the answer. 'Everything is just perfect' I answered. By that time I had already said Al-HamduliAllah one hundred times in my head but 'say Al-HamduliAllah' my father reminded me again.
Al-HamduliAllah, for everything. Life is as perfect as you wish to see it, and if you find at least one thing to be thankful for everyday then you are blessed.
During my time alone in Germany I learnt to be happy, I learnt to be thankful. And I can assure you that my life there was not perfect, but the happier I chose to be the better my life got.
From now on life could only get better inshAllah.
I am not saying this to show off, I am saying this to inspire. Cause I now know what happiness tastes like and I want the whole world to try it.

Until the next chapter..